Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful, especially for all you DIY-brides. Not to mention the stressors of your full-time job, and trying to live a “normal” life in the midst of wedding to-do’s. Planning a wedding is like working a second job. You have to find the time to tend to a multitude of details as part of an already busy schedule while managing vendors, family anxieties and demands, your groom, your emotions and an array of tricky wedding dynamics.Here are some tips & tricks to try to ward off the wedding woes:
Prioritize: There are so many options anymore in terms of what your wedding can be. Traditional and in a church? In a backyard? A tropical destination wedding? The options are limitless, and couples are less bound by tradition now than ever before. If you have different ideas of what you want, before you plan any wedding details, sit down with your fiancé and make a list of the top three things that are important to each of you as far as the ceremony and reception are concerned. Then, calmly and patiently compare lists to see where you can compromise. !
Family & Friend’s Opinions: Almost every bride and groom deals with at least one or two family members or friends that has strong opinions on what your wedding should be while you’re trying to plan it. Remember that this is your wedding—not everyone else’s. It may be hard to tell your loved ones “no” or disagree about your bridesmaids wearing tangerine, but if you want your wedding day to be truly special and unique you must stand your ground on what’s best for you & your love. Politely, yet firmly state your decisions with the support of your partner.
Looking Good on your wedding day: Every bride wants to look their absolute best on the day that everyone is looking at them. But you need to make sure that you aren’t being unrealistic about your body image on the big day. Make sure that your wedding weight-loss goals are totally realistic. After all, planning takes a lot of time and can be stressful, so you may not have as much time as you think you do to exercise and cook healthy foods. Also, be sure to drink enough water, eat lots of fruits and vegetables, and get that beauty rest. These three things will really give you that wedding-day glow.
Budget: More money, more problems, right? Well, in the case of wedding budgets, less money and big expectations can equal more problems, too. On average, U.S. couples spends about $20,000 on a wedding. And that number doesn’t include a honeymoon or engagement ring. Unless you have a large budget already in place, or family members with deep pockets, keeping costs down can be challenging at best. Remember to prioritize any and all expenses, and balance costs as you go if necessary. If you go over on catering, don’t spring for those chair covers or pricey linens. If your bouquets cost more than you expected, trade out half of your centerpieces for less costly decorations. Ask yourself what you’ll remember when you look back on this day. Will it be your beautiful dress or suit? Will it be the music and DJ? How about those expensive invitations? Determine your needs vs. your wants and be realistic about them. You know what’s more stressful thanplanning a wedding? Coming back to a heap of debt after your honeymoon.
The Guest List: From being afraid of offending others to your in-laws insisting that your fiancé’s fourth and fifth cousins just have to be there, compiling a guest list can get tricky. Sit down with your partner and agree on a guest policy together. Decide if children are or aren’t welcome and the maximum number of guests you want (and can afford). Consider dividing guest counts evenly between your two families and have the first and final say on who attends. No matter how you do it, agree on a policy and don’t waiver from it. Sticking to rules helps you and your family members explain to others why your third-removed cousin wasn’t invited.
You Want the “Perfect” Wedding—No Exceptions: Of course you want your wedding day to be perfect. Who doesn’t? But how realistic are your expectations, and what will happen if everything doesn’t go perfectly? Remember to consider the things that you and your guests will remember. Are they really going to remember that you did or did not have small crystals on the table? Do they care if they have paper vs linen napkins? Will you consider the day to be ruined, after all of that planning and thought? Vow to be easy going on your wedding day and take it all in stride. There is no such thing as a perfect wedding. You know the saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff”? Well, during the wedding planning process and the day itself, remember the big picture and take a deep breath. After all, no one will remember the lopsided cake or miss the parting gift that the reception staff forgot to put out. No one will know if you fudged your vows or forgot your earrings. They’ll be too busy remembering what a great time they had sharing the start of your marriage with you!
Other Good Ideas to Relieve some of that Stress
- Date Night: Plan a date night with your fiancé — no wedding talk allowed. Make it romantic, and remind yourselves that all this wedding craziness is going on because you’re madly in love.
- Laugh it up. Laughter creates feel-good hormones, so either rent the funniest flicks of all time, or join your friends and fiancé for a night at the comedy club.
- Be a Kid Again. Go out and fly a kite. Blow some Bubbles. Jump on a swingset with your love or a friend. Remember how freeing and fun it was to be a kid again.
- Spend time with your pet. Health magazines and sites often report that just petting a dog can create relaxation hormones, so take some time to cuddle with your pet, or go to a friend’s place to “borrow” her dog for an hour or two.
- Exercise. When you’re busy, your fitness routine could suffer. But don’t skip those yoga classes or evening walks just because you have a lot on your To-Do list. Making time to work out keeps you on an even keel, relaxes the mind, and gives you more energy to handle that To-Do list well.
- Mother Nature. Try going for a walk at the beach or in the woods, by a lake, or in the park. Breathe in that fresh, clean air and notice the upturn of the bright green leaves on the trees. Listen to the waves crashing and think about something bigger than yourself and your wedding. It’s a terrific way to escape.
- Read a great book. Find something funny or intriguing. Nothing wedding-oriented, nothing self-help, nothing stressful in any way. Then either curl up in bed, by the fireplace, or in a hammock to “check out” for a few hours.
- Community. Attend a cultural event, like a street festival, a concert, a play, a dance performance, a jazz club night. Some events are free, so check the newspaper for a list of events going on in your area. http://www.festivals.com is another great resource for unique goings-on that can take you away from it all.
- Keep a gratitude journal. The best way to escape what’s going wrong with your wedding plans is to make yourself think about, appreciate and write down what’s going right. And then look back to it often when you need a little boost.
Things Worth Remembering:
- Remember that no wedding is perfect.
- Remember that you can’t please everybody.
- Be willing to compromise.
- Delegate responsibility whenever possible.
- Remain calm and rational when faced with stress.
- Communicate effectively (without anger).
- People are unpredictable
- You are not to blame for problems that your guests have.
- Be honest with yourself and your guests.
- You don’t need to be a mediator between guests.
- There are some things that you cannot control.
- A wedding takes a long time to plan.
- A variety of emotions are normal during the planning process.
- Take time out for yourself.
- Take time out for your relationship.
In any stressful wedding-planning event, remember to always take time to eat healthy foods, exercise, sleep well and practice stress busters like yoga or meditation. Making time for just a few minutes of stress reduction each day can go a long way now—and during your marriage, too!